A Trip to the MoMA

What better way to start the new year than with some good ole high culture? You may say to yourself, “oh how I would love to visit the Museo del’arte Moderno but I do not live in New York.” Well, that’s your own damn fault now isn’t it? Before the end of the world, you must learn to be honest with yourself.

ZOOP Tip: Before your journey to the museo, enjoy a bite at a cute little Thai bistro on 8th avenue. It will be a good place to discuss your previous trips to the MoMA with your amici. Be sure to show off you commanding knowledge of the art world.

Once you get to the museum, skip the line and retrieve your VIP free passes. Now its time to enjoy the l’arte! Since its 2012, the bleaker the better! I particularly enjoyed “Echo of a Scream” by Mexican muralist David Alfaro Siqueiros. A friend postured to me, “Do you feel more like the large baby head, or the smaller baby being consumed?” I replied, “Both.” Its so true, no?

In one particularly disturbing exhibition, candies in silver wrappings were placed all around the floor. Patrons were encouraged to take one and participate in the cycle of life and death. While my two amici obeyed this request, I refrained….

We ended our cultural excursion with a trip to the always lovely MoMA cafe. Be sure to reserve your seats. Here, you may partake in a second lunch or simply order a diet coke and judge those addicted to food around you. Finally, right before you exit, you may peruse the museo store and chuckle at the knick-knacks located there, but never buy. Who are you, a Midwestern tourist?

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Welcome to ZOOP!

I have noticed that many people seem to be utterly dissatisfied with their own lives. I began to think, “what can I do for these poor creatures?” Well, I can teach you how to be more like me! Let you old self go! Be free! Be better! Be ZOOP!